When They Ask to Go Home: Supporting Your Loved One After Moving to Assisted Living or Memory Care

When a loved one transitions into assisted living or memory care, it’s a major life change — not just for them, but for the entire family. Even if the move was made for safety, health, or peace of mind, it’s completely natural for seniors to experience confusion, sadness, or longing for the familiar. One of the most heart-wrenching moments families often face is when a loved one repeatedly says, “I want to go home.”

Hearing these words can bring on a flood of emotions: guilt, sadness, helplessness. It’s a common experience, but one that doesn’t have an easy, one-size-fits-all answer. At Family Ties Senior Placement Services, we walk alongside families during this journey, and we want to offer some compassionate guidance for navigating these tender conversations.

1. Understand What “Home” Means

When someone with memory loss or confusion says they want to go home, they may not be talking about a physical place. “Home” often symbolizes feelings of safety, comfort, and familiarity. For some, it may mean a childhood home or simply a time when they felt healthier and more independent.

Instead of focusing on the literal meaning, try to respond to the emotion behind their words. Are they feeling scared? Lonely? Disoriented? Recognizing this can help you respond with empathy rather than correction.

2. Respond with Reassurance, Not Correction

It’s tempting to remind your loved one that they are home now, or to explain all the reasons they moved. However, logical reasoning often doesn’t soothe emotional distress, especially for those with dementia or cognitive decline.

Instead, use gentle reassurance:

• “You’re safe here. I’m here with you.”

• “I know you miss your home. Tell me what you loved most about it.”

• “It’s okay to feel this way. I’m here to help you.”

Listening and validating their feelings can bring more comfort than trying to “fix” the situation with explanations.

3. Engage in Calming Activities

Sometimes the request to “go home” signals boredom, anxiety, or a need for connection. Redirecting their attention with familiar or soothing activities can help ease their distress:

• Look through old photo albums together

• Play favorite music

• Take a walk around the community

• Enjoy a snack or beverage they love

Creating moments of connection helps replace fear and confusion with comfort and security.

4. Stay Consistent and Patient

Transitions take time — often much longer than families expect. It’s normal for adjustment to take weeks or even months. Regular, predictable visits (even short ones) can reassure your loved one that they have not been abandoned.

If your loved one struggles particularly during certain times of the day (like late afternoon or evening), planning visits during their “best” times can make a big difference.

5. How Our Senior Living Advisors Help Make the Transition Smoother

At Family Ties Senior Placement Services, we believe the right support can transform the transition from feeling overwhelming to feeling empowering. Our experienced senior living advisors work closely with families and communities to personalize each move.

We help by:

• Carefully matching seniors with communities that meet not just their care needs, but also their social, emotional, and personal preferences.

• Advising families on how to bring meaningful, familiar touches into their loved one’s new environment — such as favorite furniture, family photos, beloved hobbies, and cherished routines.

• Collaborating with community staff to ensure a smooth welcome and encourage gentle introductions to new neighbors, activities, and daily rhythms.

• Offering ongoing support to families long after move-in day, because adjustment doesn’t end after the boxes are unpacked.

By focusing on the whole person — their history, their passions, and their hopes — we help each new community truly feel like home.

6. Take Care of Yourself, Too

Watching a parent or loved one struggle can feel overwhelming and exhausting. Give yourself permission to feel sad, to grieve the changes, and to seek support when you need it. Talking to a counselor, attending a caregiver support group, or even just leaning on friends can make a meaningful difference.

You are not alone in this journey — and you’re doing your best in a very difficult situation.

Final Thoughts

Hearing your loved one ask to “go home” is never easy. But by approaching those moments with love, patience, and understanding — and by leaning on the expertise and support of compassionate advisors — you can help them feel safe, valued, and truly at home once again.

At Family Ties Senior Placement Services, we are here to guide and support you every step of the way. If you ever need someone to talk to about your loved one’s transition or any part of the senior care journey, we’re just a phone call away.

Because family means never facing these decisions alone.❤️